I’M THE ALPHA MALE

I finished completing and signing my documents first and handed them to the paralegals. The others finished at a much slower pace delaying our training. Once they were done, the paralegal introduced another employee. It was a man who she introduced as an associate. I shot him a confident smile meant to him know that we were comrades and that he could count on me to do excellent work. He smiled back then took his place in front of the conference room. He stood facing us with his back to a huge mirror that overlooked the busy street below. He was dressed in khaki pants, a white shirt and a blue blazer. The look was casual yet, it insinuated confidence and a sense of control. I looked directly at him, paying attention to every word he said. The associate explained that the case was a big anti-trust matter. When he named the parties, I recalled seeing a story about the matter on the front of the Financial Times. I was very impressed. Even at my firm, as a first year associate I never got close to the biggest and best cases. That would have come later had I stayed but they ruined that. At that moment, I felt lucky. Maybe leaving my old firm had been a good move after all. With my credentials and work history, I’m sure I could get this firm to hire me on as an association. I silently thanked Ben for putting me on this track. He was truly a good friend. I was so focused on what the associate’s presentation that I ignored the nudges to my arm by the man sitting next to me. When he called my name, visibly frustrated, I looked over at him. He was passing me a sign in sheet that the paralegal had circulated. I wrote my name on it and passed it to the next person the returned my focus to the associate. He was explaining how to use the document review software. The confident black guy at the other end of the table raised his hand to ask a question. Personally, I thought he should have waited until the associate completed his presentation but he was probably not as familiar with business protocol as I was. While he asked his question, the associate and the paralegal nodded with interest and so did the rest of the group. The associate said, “Good question” and eagerly answered my competition’s question. Forget protocol, I couldn't let that guy get ahead of me. As soon as the paralegal completed his answer I raised my hand. I pulled a competently formulated question out of thin air. They were all impressed. Even more impressed than they had been by the other guy’s question. I displayed a subtle, yet confident smile. They had to understand that this was not a big deal for me. I would make them all understand that I had and could compete with the best and win. The associate answered my question, his eyes focused on me. I scanned the room and the others observed the associate’s interest in me. Frankly, I looked better than all of them in every way. Besides being handsome, I was well dressed, exuded confidence and spoke eloquently. I had learned over the years that in situations like these you must present yourself in a way that convinces your competition to defeat themselves because they believe that they are not in your league. My work was almost done. The two washed up old lawyers were oblivious to my machinations. They probably couldn't retain half of the information that was given to us that day. The black women barely paid any attention, opting instead to continue the conversation that they had started in the lobby even as the associate presented his information. There were two white men who looked about my age. Like me, they were probably in transition and focused on their next move. They lacked the confidence to compete. There was a dowdy white woman whose disposition screamed, stay-at-home mom attempting to re-enter the labor force. She seemed lost with no hope of being found. There were also two younger white women who had began a pattern of staring at me then giggling to each other. They would do better to find a man, get married have a child and follow the path that the former stay-at-home mom had taken. Another group consisted of three black men who seemed to know each other from a prior assignment. One of them was constantly checking his cell phone and sending text messages, while trying not to be noticed. The second one wore a blue bow tie, which really stood out to me. He was probably a militant or a member of the Nation of Islam or something. The third guy was short. What else can I say? How can a short guy compete? He’s totally eliminated as competition.