HOPE SPRINGS

The day’s developments had left me distraught and despondent. I returned to my small corner at the end of the desk next to the old man. I noticed that he had taken over another five inches of my space. I looked at him with disgust and he stared back as if to dare me to even ask about what he had done. I looked away. It wasn't worth it. I inched my chair a little closer to the edge and slid my papers toward the edge of the table.

The place was so hot. The air was stagnant and it felt as if there was no air-conditioning on. I looked around the room and almost everyone else had abandoned the appearance of professionalism, with some men having removed their ties and unbuttoned their shirts. I took off my jacket and hung it on the back of my folding chair. The chair was so low that the hem of my designer jacket sat crumpled on the glue-streaked floor. People were using their papers to fan themselves but I knew that was a self-defeating effort. All of this and it was just lunch time. I had only had a bagel and cream cheese with a glass of orange juice for breakfast so now my stomach began to growl. The old man had the audacity to sneer at me when my stomach growled. The guy who encroached on my tiny space was offended by my unintended bodily sound. What nerve!

I have always been a self-starter. My excessive confidence was one of my best and most distinguishing attributes. As I continued to read my documents, I began to create a mental plan of action. First I considered going back to my old firm. After a second of consideration I decided to put that idea in the “possibility” category of my mental action plan. Next I thought I should send my resume to other prominent law firms in the city. After all, I had graduated from a top law school in the top of my class and as editor of the law review. And I had been scouted by many of the top firms in my third year of law school and turned down three other top firms to take the associate position at my old firm. That idea was definitely at the top of my list. I began to feel hopeful. The next option was to send my resume to law firms in other cities. That’s a good one too. Then I had to consider the option of continuing to do what I was doing even if temporarily. I put that idea below the option of going back to my old firm. After just half a day, that possibility was painfully sad.