OUT OF THE FRYING PAN…

My spirit crushed, I decided to find a seat hoping that things would improve somehow. Each time I took a step my shoes stuck to the glue on the floor. I found a spot on the end of the table and put my papers down in the small space in front of the computer. There was no space available on either side. One of the old guys was seated next to me and the recovering stay-at-home mom was across from me. I started to review the documents that the paralegal had given us about the background of the case but shortly thereafter I began to smell a strange scent. I looked all around and couldn’t tell where it was coming from until I noticed that the bathrooms were about six feet behind me. Just then the other old guy walked out of the men’s bathroom with a newspaper folded under his arm. When the door closed behind him the foulest smelling gust of air rushed in my direction. I didn’t want to be rude but I had to cover my nose. The old guy looked like he didn’t have a care in the world. He just proceeded to his seat while the rest of us endured the odor. By lunch time the room had gotten so hot that people were shedding their clothes. Sweat streamed down my face and dripped onto my documents. I needed fresh air but I didn’t want to go outside before someone came back to give us further instructions about the project. After a long argument with myself I decided that I would dare to enter the bathroom. As I swung my feet to get up, I kicked the former stay-at-home mom and she screamed so loud you would have thought that I shot her. I wish I could have. “My foot, my foot,” she repeated as she bent under the table rubbing her injured foot. I started to walk away then thought that would be too cold so since I was the one who had kicked her I went to her aid although there really was nothing that I could do. “I’m sorry, ma’am,” I said in a low tone trying to contain the matter to our area of the room. The woman jumped out of her seat, showing no further signs of injury. With her face five inches from mine she yelled, “get away from me. You did that on purpose. I saw you looking at me.”
“What are you talking about?” I backed away from the crazed woman hoping she would calm down. She approached me and pushed me against the table. I felt a tight ball of shame materialize in my stomach, which grew into anger and then exploded into rage. I knew that everyone in the room could tell that this moment could change the rest of my life and stay-at-home mom’s life too because a hush fell on the room and all eyes were on us. I had heard about ways to calm oneself in moments of extreme stress but I had never had to exercise them in my carefully ordered education and career. In a split second I realized that if I did what I wanted to do to this woman not only would I lose my job but I might be criminally charged and brought before the bar. She got lucky. I took a long deep breath and counted backward from ten. I lifted myself off of the table while still holding my breath. I walked toward the bathroom taking each step slowly, using the time to calm myself and eliminate thoughts of bashing that woman’s head in. I was getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen but I held my breath until I got into the bathroom and when I finally inhaled I took in a breath of such toxic air that it burned my lungs. All the while she just stood there like a statue. She too realized that she had narrowly escaped death just then.

The bathroom was a mess. The toilets were overflowing and water only trickled from the faucets. There wasn't even any soap. I wondered how many hand I had shaken of people who used the bathroom and didn't or couldn't wash their hands. I looked at my hands, disgusted by the thought.